


rain

by forev



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Depression, Gen, Implied/Referenced Eye Trauma, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mentions of Mental Hospitals, Suicidal Thoughts, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-18
Updated: 2016-03-18
Packaged: 2018-05-27 09:14:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6278557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forev/pseuds/forev
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"He doesn’t eat supper. He  isn’t hungry. <br/>He isn’t much of anything."</p>
<p>or; Kenma is mentally ill and suffering (tm) and hinata tries to comfort him. this is a vent fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	rain

**Author's Note:**

> lol i dont have any betas

It’s raining, and Kenma is sitting outside with the hood of his raincoat covering his face, hunched over and glaring at the screen on his phone. Why won’t Kuroo fucking text him back? Just one fucking character would be enough. Just one. Kenma can’t even find it in himself to be upset. He can’t find it in himself to feel anything recently. It isn’t his fault he ended up in that stupid hospital. His fault that Kuroo’s parents think that he’s too much of a burden for Kuroo. Is it?

He rolls up his sleeve and looks down at the already fading red lines on his forearm. He wants to scream and scream and scream until his lungs collapse. He had fooled the doctors into letting him go home, fooled his parents too. And now Kuroo won’t text him back. Not one  _ fucking  _ character. 

His hands twitch. He breathes deep and flings his phone as hard as he can into his yard, watching it smash on the wooden end of his mom’s greenhouse.

☄

He goes to school the next day for the first time since he got back home. Kuroo tries to talk to him but he ignores the older boy. He feels disconnected and floaty. Like he isn’t in a real place. His feet drag when he walks and all he can hear is his breaths going in and out. In and Out.

☄

He knows it’s a bad day when his brain starts talking to him. Telling him to do bad things. 

He’s talking to the principal, and all he can think is,  _ take your pen out of your pocket and stab it through his eye take your pen out of your pocket and stab it through his eye take your pen out of your pocket and stab it through his eye take your pen out of your pocket and stab it through his eye.  _

At lunch it’s  _ slam your tray onto the ground. Make a scene make a scene make a scene.  _

When he’s walking home his mind wills him to jump from the bridge. He wants to, but he keeps towards home anyway.

☄

He doesn’t eat supper. He  isn’t hungry. 

He isn’t much of anything. 

☄

Kenma lays in bed, holding his stuffed cat close to his chest. He can’t sleep. He’s too tired. 

☄

He fakes being sick the next day so that he can stay home. He has so much homework to catch up on, but he can’t bring himself to touch the papers. His 3DS lays on his bedside table untouched. He doesn’t eat all day, despite his mother's requests. 

“Kenma, are you feeling alright?” She asks him again and again. 

_ Don’t say anything to her. You’ll only put her through more stress and pain. God, you’re worthless. You’re worthless. You’re worthless. You’re worthless. _

“It’s just a cold,” Kenma replies with a weak smile. 

☄

He tries to describe how he feels in writing:

**Like there is a neverending void inside of my stomach and that I am going to wall from the weight of it any second.**

That, as well as:

**Like I am detached from the world around me. None of it is really real; like I am walking in a dream.**

He doesn’t know what to do. 

☄

The next day he refuses to get out of bed when his mom wakes him up for school. He doesn’t want to go to school. He doesn’t want to see Kuroo.

☄

He falls asleep eventually, slumped in an awkward position in his desk chair, scribbles of people with planets for heads or flowers for souls cover his sketchbook. 

☄

He wakes up to Hinata Shouyou’s voice

“Gwah! Kenma!” Hinata cries. 

“Shouyou,” Kenma says groggily. His limbs ache. 

“Kenma, are you okay? Kuroo says you haven’t been at school!” Hinata exclaims, worry evident in his voice. 

“I’m okay,” Kenma assures the small boy, stretching his legs and popping his neck. 

“No, you’re not,” Hinata presses, putting his hands on Kenma’s shoulders. 

Kenma doesn’t feel like dealing with this. Actually, he doesn’t feel like dealing with anything. He sits there and says nothing until Hinata drops to his knees and cries.

“I’m sorry Kenma,” Hinata wails, “I’m so sorry!”

Kenma closes his eyes, knowing he should be feeling something, but he is much too tired to care. 

☄


End file.
